Sunday, June 28, 2009

Pearls before swine

Elizabeth Scalia at the Anchoressonline has an excellent post on living low, living in mediocrity, living for less than we were created, accepting the mud and mire, or throwing our pearls before swine and being satisfied. It reminds me (and she uses the analogy) of this weight-loss, food obsession struggle.

I have been struggling, mightily. Often, these last couple weeks, I've been losing. I've given in to temptation. I've succumbed to the sugary sweetness of temporary satisfaction and comfort. I'm swine groveling in the mud, too absorbed by the delights of sludge to look up and see goodness and long-lasting health and happiness ahead.

I truly feel as if I am addicted. I think about what meal is next. I anticipate hunger in hope of justifying why I am eating -- again.

What happened? My discipline of healthy eating, waiting for hunger, eating good stuff....was going so well. And then it collapsed in on me.

Summertime is supposed to be that "health-aware" season. The fashions cover less of your body so you want to be in better shape so you exercise more, eat less (because it's hotter outside and who likes to eat when it's hot?). But somehow the summer has the opposite effect on me. My routine (kids in school, home schooling, regular meetings, etc.) is off, so I am off-schedule. I need the routine! It's hot, bloody hot outside and stepping out into it drains me of all energy for the next task/project at hand and I end up tinkering on the computer for six hours and not walking, reading, cleaning, anything.

Someone slap me! Snap out of it! I fear gaining that 30 pounds I worked so hard to lose. I truly fear that. But do I fear it enough? The best of me does. The old swine-y self doesn't care. I just want to be coddled.

So that's where I am today. Thanks, Suzanne, for praying. I need that. And I am reciprocating. I think getting my focus off my self (by praying and serving others) is the start to climbing out of this mud pit. Thanks.


  1. Guess I hadn't looked at this for awhile. I certainly don't have the answeres....guess I just feel better, physically when I eat the right things. It is a psych thing too. Because there are times I just don't care and I want to getting rid of the 2 year old choc. peanut butter balls I found in the down stairs refrig. They are gone now!!!

  2. Hey.. just checking in again.. I hope you are hanging in there. Yesterday is gone.. today is ahead.. and right now is your time to get healthy. Just one little decision at a time.


    (And lots of people struggle over summer. I lead a sparkteam .. and the team has really struggled this summer. The round ends tomorrow and half the people on the team lost little to nothing.. with some even gaining. But I know that with fall it will turn around. The flexibility and free feeling of the summer makes it harder to stay on track. But you CAN DO THIS.