It's that TOM - yeap, that time of the month. The exact day. The day all h$ll breaks loose in my hormones. It happens once every 7 years when my hormonal rage is at it's peak. Today was the day. I was not in my best form today. I was not in my right mind today. The kids are avoiding me and I gave Dave fair warning. Needless to say I wanted what I wanted but I only gave in to 4 chocolate balls. I wanted more - thankfully I had exorcised my pantry of such temptations. But the calorie count was much higher today than in the past. I walked for 8 miles hoping to sweat some of this hormonal psychopathy out of my system. It helped a tad.
Breakfast 2 boiled eggs 1 c. low fat yogurt 1 c. mixed frozen berries
Lunch 1 1/2 peanut butter sandwiches 1 apple with peanut butter 4 chocolate balls
Snack 1 oz almonds
Dinner 4 oz turkey patty 3 c. tossed salad with 1 T oil/vinegar dressing 6 asparagus spears
It doesn't look like a lot of calories but that peanut butter is what did me in!
Well, it wasn't exactly a lie, perhaps a blatant omission. Last night, I posted day 43 prior to eating dinner. I anticipated what I was planning to eat and recorded that. Well, it wasn't exactly what I ate, not in the least.
I had the salad and one veal burger (4 oz instead of 8 - I upped the protein since my calorie count has been coming in between 1000-1100 and I think that's too low). Then I eyed the pepperoni pizza I made for the family. It looked good. I haven't had pizza for - weeks (we have pizza, homemade, really good pizza every Friday). I had a sliver. I was really good. Then I had another. I figured two slivers actually equal one piece, I'm okay. But....then.... I had another sliver. So 1 1/2 pieces of pizza - pepperoni. About an hour later my stomach was cramping up, I felt bloating, I felt miserable. I confessed to Dave.
I don't like feeling like I did. I desire that satisfied, contented feeling in my stomach, not the overloaded, bloated, ate-tooooo-much feeling. Eating the right foods satisfies better than nitrate-filled pepperoni pizza. New day. Start-over.
We had a funeral dinner today. Wrecked the momentum of my good eating.
Funeral dinners are Aidan's favorite church event. There's fried chicken, ham, rolls, angel food cake and Texas sheet cake. He's in heaven and eager to help serve, anticipating the rewards to come.
I, however, dread the menu. I love jello salads. I don't make them - ever. I consider them dessert but here in the midwest a jello salad is a salad and therefore placed next to the garden salads and slaws. I don't know why. There's absolutely no vegetable in any of these salads. They're made with gelatin, strawberries (or some other fruit), marshmallows, and cool-whip. Anything with cool-whip means dessert. And because I never make jello "salads" and I didn't grow up with jello "salads" I eat them at funeral dinners. I like them - a lot. But today I had --- none, nada, not.a.bite. I did have fried chicken (peeling the fried part off) and some banana split dessert. Then I saw home-made peach pie and thought, "Wow, homemade peach pie!" So I wrapped up a piece to enjoy at home. After dishes, cleaning counters, and storing leftovers I returned home to enjoy my dessert - my deserved, rewarded dessert. Dave gave me the harry eye-ball as I unwrapped the cellophane.
I said, "What!"
So I took a bite. It wasn't that satisfying. Not that fantastic of a pie. But it has been so long...
So I took another bite. With each bite I was trying to persuade my taste buds that this was sooo worth it. But it wasn't. I stopped after 4 bites. Placed the plate down and walked away. It was enough. I threw the rest away. Didn't need the temptation.
Breakfast Berry smoothie
Snack 2 boiled eggs
Lunch 2 chicken thighs, fried, skin removed 1.5 C. salad 1 C. cauliflower/broccoli salad 1/2 C. Banana split dessert 1/2 piece peach pie
Dinner 3 c. romaine salad with peppers and yellow squash 8 oz veal burger
Thank goodness for grilled chicken salad in restaurants.
We ate out today and I was a little apprehensive, not knowing where we were going to eat (going out with friends who picked the place). It was mexican. The tortilla chips and salsa were placed on the table. Yumm. I knew if I ate one I'd have another, then another, then another. So my mind was calculating, "Can I afford the calories?" I decided it was a treat that I really didn't want to indulge in. Now the menu. What to order? I love flautas but fried flour tortillas - definitely not on the diet. Then I saw the grilled chicken garden salad. Yes! Something I enjoy and can eat. I didn't feel neglected and entitled to indulge. I was satisfied. I didn't crave the rice, beans, guacamole and c-h-e-e-s-e (oozy-goozy).
One thing this detox has done for my appetite - it has made me able to wait longer between meals, when I can't eat I have a longer tolerance for hunger. Prior to detoxing, the minute I felt hunger I would crave and crave and dream of what to eat and the minute I was in the kitchen, or at a place to eat, I would consume, not mindful of what I was eating, just wanting to consume. Now I wait and savor the flavors. It's a good thing.
Breakfast berry smoothie
Lunch Grilled Chicken Garden Salad
Snack Starbucks Venti with half and half
Dinner 4 oz. sirloin steak sweet potato with pat butter 1 C. cauliflower 1 C. broccoli
I completed the ten days on the Fast Track Detox diet yesterday. I lost a total of 5 pounds. As i stated before I could easily slip back into bad habits but I also feel victorious by placing food in it's proper position in my life - for my good and not my god. I will most likely continue cycling through this regimen. The family likes the menu (I alter and add a bit extra for them), it's not very expensive and it's working.
Breakfast Scrumptious Apple Squares - (2 eggs, 1 scoop whey powder, 1 apple, 1/2 t. cinnamon) 1 c. plan low-fat yogurt
Snack Coffee 1/4 C. half/half
Lunch 4 scallops 8 shrimp 2 slices toast with 1 pat butter salad with vinaigrette
On one of Leslie Sansone's dvds she mentions how technology encouraged less activity. For example, instead of writing a letter and walking to the post box we sit at the computer and email. Fair enough, technology does tend to keep us in our seats. But then I was thinking about this blog, the google group I'm apart, sites I can rely on (like sparkpeople.com) for information...all that technology is helping me. So if you look at it in a different light technology is a good thing - depending on how you use it.
Breakfast Whey and Cherry Pancakes
Snack 1 boiled egg
Lunch Cauliflower and carrots 4 oz turkey patty 2 slices toast with 1 pat butter
Snack 1 boiled egg
Dinner Salad with artichoke hearts and 4 oz. chicken apple
I use sparkpeople.com to record my calories everyday. They send me articles that inspire and challenge. Today's was fascinating. I had to pass it on. Notice the total calories of the meals eaten out - almost an entire day's worth!
What Do 300-Calorie Meals Look Like?
Wonder what 300 calories looks like? 300 calories look drastically different when you're eating in instead of dining out. Choosing healthier, more nutritious foods--at home and away--means you can eat much more food and still lose weight. Check out these 18 meal comparisons and forward this eye-opening email to your friends, family and co-workers to help them eat healthier this year!
Breakfast: 300-Calorie Meals & Portions Here are three morning meals that each weigh in at 300 calories. Healthy and quick homemade meals (left column) pack whole grains, fresh fruit, and protein--a filling combination that will keep you fuller longer. You could only eat a fraction of the comparable restaurant meals (right column) for the same number of calories.
Lunch: 350-Calorie Meals & Portions These midday meals contain 350 calories each--the perfect amount to keep you going without wrecking your diet. Packing one of the homemade lunches on the left doesn't take long, and look at all those low-cal and filling veggies you'll get! Notice how seemingly healthy options like the restaurant foods on the right can be very misleading! Those 350-calorie portions are pretty small.
Dinner: 400-Calorie Meals & Portions Many people consume a larger meal at night, so we picked 400-calorie dinners here. By combining whole grains with lean protein and vegetables, these homemade dinners (left column) are a snap to prepare--and they'll keep the late-night munchies at bay! In contrast, the high-fat and high-calorie meals on the right don't offer much in the way of nutrition or volume.
The bottom line is that you can eat more and lose weight when you know how to pick the right foods and the right portions. Use the images and portions above as a guide to create your own healthy, diet-friendly and nutritious meals every day!
Discuss this email or leave a comment on the dailySpark, and don't forget to forward this email to your friends.
It's 7:30 pm and I've fasted this day on lemon water and the cranberry drink from the Ann Gittleman's Fast Track Detox. I can honestly tell you I am not hungry, I have not experience hunger and am not craving any food. As I was grilling turkey cutlets for the family my mind was carrying on a conversation: "Should grilling this meat make me hungry?" "Why, yes, I think it should!" "So...are you hungry?" "By golly, I am not! But should I be?" ""Perhaps, but I really am not so I probably shouldn't be dwelling on it, trying to convince myself that I should be hungry when I am not actually." "Okay, let's stop thinking about this and move on!"
For the next three days I ease back into food with liver-loving cauliflower, broccoli, veal, turkey, flaxseed oil and blueberries. This has been a good diet to follow. I've enjoyed the recipes and the ingredients. I will try to follow this plan every 6-8 weeks and continue with eating the liver-loving foods.
I am feeling victorious over my past relationship with food. It isn't what comforts and consoles me. I will not turn to it out of boredom, depression, anger or stress. I know this is a decision teetering on a razor's edge. I can too easily slip to the other side, fall off the wagon and allow food to be my god. This causes me all the more to call out to my true GOD, for comfort and consolation.
Why would I gain weight on this diet? Honestly, please tell me -- why would the scale read 3 pounds heavier yesterday (yes it was after breakfast)? Today I weighed as soon as I woke up, like I have been and instead of those 3 pounds gone, only 2 are. So I gained a pound! I baffled. Why? My calories are around 1200. I exercise hundreds of calories and I didn't lose but gained!
I am bound and determined not to give up though. My body feels healthier and my cravings have diminished (though I no sometimes I am on the cusp of blowing it and consuming the last of the Christmas chocolate in 5 seconds flat!). This is the right direction and I will keep moving there. I am feeling success in recognizing the dependency I have on food for comfort - and the desire to use food to fill a void is waning. That is a victory.
Tomorrow is the juice fast day. Today I prepare for it and tomorrow I live it.
Breakfast Berry Smoothie
Lunch Spinach salad - 4 oz lamb, broccoli, red onion, one egg
Snack 2 boiled eggs
Dinner 1 oz tilapia (tilapia was on the menu but after cooking and tasting it - well it tasted off so a few bites later it was decided to toss) 4 oz lean burger steamed cauliflower/carrots apple 1/2 slice flax bread
So I made the mistake of weighing myself after I drank a liter of water and ate breakfast. Guess what? I gained 3 pounds! What the?! I'm not counting it - nope, no way. Instead, I'll go with the number tomorrow morning fresh out of bed!
Breakfast 2 c. spinach 2 eggs scrambled
Snack Berry smoothie
Lunch 4 oz roast beef 3 c. romaine cherry toms 1 c. broccoli 2 t. dijon vinaigrette
Snack 3 pieces flax bread with butter - not on the diet and perhaps I'm feeling a little sorry for myself since weighing in - who knows. I didn't give much thought while I was toasting the bread. That's my problem. I force reason and my goal out of my head so the only voice I hear is that entitlement voice (You deserve this - it won't be so bad, no too many calories, it's not really that far off your diet - it is "flax" bread after all!). But regardless of those arguments it was off my plan, away from my goal.
DInner 4 oz lean beef burger salad brussel sprouts sauteed in garlic/olive oil
The kids wanted to go to Pizza Hut after church - with the gang. I said, "Go but I'm staying here." Dave said, "Let's just hang out, not eat, just be with everyone." Great! Smelling melted cheese, pepperoni, etc. Even though I can't stand Pizza Hut's pizza I thought the smells and seeing everyone devouring would overwhelm me. Plus I thought of not eating for an hour and being ravenous upon returning home - would I scarf down the first food item I see when opening the refrigerator? Nope, I did not. I had chicken leftovers, broccoli leftovers, cooked some more cauliflower and when it was done, had 1/2 c. brown rice. I felt like something sweet to finish the meal - a pear. I am satisfied. I am so glad I didn't fall off the wagon and pollute my system with pizza, from Pizza Hut!
Breakfast Blueberry smoothie
Lunch 4 oz. chicken 2 C. cauliflower 2 C. broccoli 1/2 c. brown rice 1 pear
Snack 2 oz. roast beef
Dinner 3 oz chicken 4 c. romaine 2 c. cauliflower 1 celery stick 10 baby carrots 1/2 C. brown rice 2 T. dijon dressing.
That's 2 pounds since starting this detox - on Wednesday. It's not so bad, really, except for these berry smoothies set for most breakfasts. There cold. And it's cold around here. The two do not mix very well. I have to wear a sweater drinking my smoothie in the morning. I also found I do not like raspberries/blackberries in my smoothie - too many seeds. I prefer to go with blueberry/cherry mix. And the recipe calls for Stevia - not available at Walmart - so I'm using honey.
Breakfast Berry smoothie
Lunch large salad with tomatoes, celery, broccoli, carrots 2 egg omelet with mushrooms, onion, asparagus, broccoli
Dinner 4 oz lamb burger 1 acorn squash 2 c. steamed broccoli
Exercise: 8 miles with Leslie - 95 minutes
It was a good day. Hunger felt and embraced. No screaming cravings.
Yeah, the third day of a diet is known to be the worst. And it was. I was hungry before lunch, after lunch, mid-afternoon, late afternoon and I wanted something that wasn't on the diet. I had 2 pieces of toast, with butter. Not on the diet. Then I had an extra 2 boiled eggs (on the diet, just had extra). Then I had dinner at 4 pm, not waiting until 6. So other than the toast I stayed fairly close to the plan.
Yesterday when I was hungry I enjoyed it. I was thankful that I could feel my stomach empty and embrace the feeling. I remembered Barbara's words regarding her struggle with eating and watching her disabled sons conquer their weaknesses and not give in and how that shamed her into pursuing self-control all the more. Today -- my mind wouldn't go there. It was only occupied with the immediate - no delayed gratification. It's a matter of will, a matter of stopping and saying not, to change focus from the stomach's wants to the body's needs.
Breakfast berry smoothie
Lunch 4 oz chicken 1/2 c. mushrooms/onions salad Pear
Today I begin the detox diet - 7 days of liver friendly food followed by a cranberry/water fast then 3 days easing into liver loving foods. So today I spill the truth - my weight - in numbers - truthful - honest - 223#. I hope this will be going down, and down, and down. I have lost 5 lbs since October. My short-term goal is 197 - random number under 200. So the ticker on my side bar is related to that. I started in when I was at 226 so I'm down 3 pounds!
Breakfast 3 egg white/2 whole eggs scrmabled 2 T. onions 1/2 C. asparagus 1 c. raspberries
Snack Berry Smoothie - this would be nice in August but not 32 degree January!
Lunch 1 huge salad with 4 oz turkey breast and 2 T. dijon dressing
It's 4pm and I'm hungry. I have a headache - I believe it is a combination of sinus and caffeine withdrawal!
Dinner 4 oz. salmon 2 c. cauliflower/broccoli
MADE IT...with a headache, but made it. Now tomorrow, I know, will be harder. But I have a goal in the front of my mind and I'm pushing on.
Breakfast (231 calories) 1 C. oatmeal 2 t. brown sugar 1/4 c. non fat milk 1/4 c. whole milk 2 c. coffee
Lunch (593 calories) 3 c. salad 2 boiled eggs 2 oz. roast beef 2 slices bread 1 apple
Dinner - hard to calculate calories 1 slice rib roast 1 roasted potato 1 c. green beans with shallots/almonds 3 c. romaine salad with roasted beets, walnuts, bleu cheese and dijon-lemon dressing 1 piece bouche de noel
Exercise: 7 miles with Leslie Sansone - 85 minutes
It's important to remember to look at the calories before consuming questionable food! I learned my lesson yesterday with the Dove bar. I had 2 Russell Stovers chocolates, thought about the third then looked at the calories - 70 per piece. No thank you. I've had enough. Tomorrow's Epiphany. This is when we celebrate Christmas with presents and a feast - rib roast tomorrow and the ultimate in decadence - bouche de noel! Wednesday I begin my detox diet!
Breakfast (231 calories) 1 c. oatmeal 2 t. brown sugar 1/4 c. non fat milk 1/4 c. whole milk 2 c. coffee
Lunch (455 calories) 1 boiled egg 1 c. stir fry with rice 1 slice ham 1 apple 1 oz cheddar
Dinner (734 calories) 1 c. polenta 4 oz grilled chicken breast 1 1/5 c. salad with balsamic dressing 2/3 c. french green beans 2 shrimp 1 russell stovers cream chocolates
Have you ever had Dove chocolate? I don't chose it often. There was a package of Dove Christmas chocolate for 75% off at Walmart. I bought it - for the kids. I had one after lunch. Then another. I thought about having a third until I glanced at the calorie count --- 380 per piece!!! Un-be-liev-a-ble! Now I wish I didn't have one which encouraged that second. 760 calories wasted - an entire meal. Wasted. Look at my calories for lunch. 1352. That's almost the total for the day (I should be eating between 1350-1700). After lunch I have 117 calories left for the rest of the day to stay within my range. Counting calories is a good thing (using sparkpeople). If I didn't count those 2 dove bars I wouldn't realize where my count was after lunch and would most like go extremely over by the end of the day. Lesson learned? I hope.
Breakfast (231 calories) 1 c. oatmeal 2 t. brown sugar 1/4 c. non fat milk 1/4 c. whole milk 2 c. coffee
Lunch (1352 calories) 1 1/2 split pea soup 2 pieces french bread 2 dove chocolate 1 stroop waffel
Dinner (226 calories) 1 apple 1 oz cheddar 1 c. popcorn
Yesterday I was a glutton. I convinced myself that because it was New Years I had a right, neigh, an obligation to eat my Trifle - as much as I wanted. And I did. The 2 C. I listed yesterday soon grew to 4 C. post posting. I didn't need the second, third nor fourth serving but my sinful and warped mind said I deserved it (for serving my family so sacrificially all day!) It was gluttonous.
Breakfast (calories 308) 1 c. oatmeal 2 t. brown sugar 1/4 c. nonfat milk 1/4 c. whole milk 2 c. coffee 1 boiled egg
Lunch (520 calories) 3 C. Mixed Salad 2 boiled eggs 1/5 C. peanuts 3 T. Light dressing
It's new years day so I have a right, even an obligation to feast, to blow the diet, to eat whatever I want. Right? Wrong! I did the former. I confess. I did put on the aire of rights and entitlement. But they are self-imposed and self-destructive. Next Monday I will be started the Fast Track Detox Diet (book by Ann Louise Gittleman). Barbara at mommylife.net did this almost 2 years ago and lost almost 100 pounds. She is restarted this "diet"plan because she's gained a few pounds. She's recruiting others to join her. I've followed Barbara's weight-loss and have been impressed. She lays her struggles out there. She's honest and calls obesity what it is - sin (for the majority of us, some may have medical complications). I highly recommend her writings. Here.
Breakfast 1 scrambled egg 1/2 oz polish sausage 1 piece stollen 1 C. orange juice 1 C. sparkling white wine
Lunch into Dinner (it's all one big blur) 4 ounces ham 8 oz roasted potatoes 1/2 c. almonds 2 C. trifle 1 c. orange juice 1 c. sparkling wine
I've titled this blog I'm Typical because when I read stories of amazing weight-loss there is usually an asterix leading to the small print at the bottom ---*results not typical. Well, after years of traveling on the weight-loss road I feel I fall into the typical category. It's a long, hard journey. I wish I could say there's joy but it's mostly a struggle - honestly. And in honesty I have learned that openness, vulnerability and confession are key to breaking free of a sin and overeating for me has been a sin. I am tired of it literally weighing me down. So this blog has begun as a fork in my road (with no cake on that fork!). I hope to be honest with my eating journal. It will keep me accountable. It's mostly for me but I open it to anyone else also walking down this road who may share in the same steps (sometimes it feels like 2 steps forward and 3 steps back, but at least we're moving!).
You can also find me at celticpole.blogspot.com